I Will Always Love You
by CheyBaby
Summary: What happens when Rachel's life slowly crumbles into pieces that cannot be put back together? Her destruction is inevitable, but that one epic moment she expected to be the fall of everything that she was never came. Instead it was a series of unfortunate events that inevitably led to her demise.
1. I Will Always Love You

_**Hello! This is just a little one shot that wanted to write itself. I hope you guys really enjoy it. Let me know what you think! Thanks! :D**_

There wasn't some big moment that decided it. There was no big epiphany or epic moment of soul shattering embarrassment that made her do it. It was more of a multitude of things, a series of events that ultimately led to her destruction. The first was just one of many and definitely the hardest.

When she was only twelve years old her fathers' sat her down to have a very life altering conversation that would haunt her until the end. "Honey, your father and I have something we need to talk to you about, okay?"

Rachel beamed at them; she'd always have time for her two favorite people. "Of course daddy, what is it?"

"Well," her daddy began awkwardly, "your father and I have run into some problems at work and we're going to need to be away for a of couple weeks. We trust you to be able to take care of yourself. You are a very responsible young woman and we know you won't get into any trouble while we are away. You won't let us down, right?"

Rachel was completely and utterly crushed. Her daddies had been going away on business a lot more than she would've liked but she wouldn't let them see that so she put on the widest smile she could. "Of course I won't! You can count on me!"

After that day, her fathers never came back. They'd call and say they were on their way but at the last minute something would come up. Eventually, they stopped calling. She tried to push it away and to just not think about it. She tried to believe great things were in store for her and that silly things like that wouldn't matter anymore.

She wasn't exactly wrong. Great things were in store for her. She got to be lead of glee club which meant she spent more time away from her empty house. She even almost had her first boyfriend but that didn't quite work out as planned.

It was after she'd helped Finn with his singing in the auditorium when he kissed her and then ran out, but it wasn't until the next day that he cornered her in the choir room to really tell her how he felt.

"Hey Rach." Finn said as he approached the small girl sitting on the piano bench eating her lunch. It was safer in there. She was less likely to be slushied.

"Hello Finn, how do you do?" Rachel asked in her most chipper voice even if she feared the worst.

"I just wanted to talk to you about yesterday. You can't tell anyone about that, okay?" Finn asked nervously.

"Yes, of course, I understand Finn. I will refrain from telling people about our intimate encounter." Rachel said slightly bitterly as she began packing her lunch back up to leave. She didn't exactly feel like going to her next class.

"Rachel, wait, let me explain. I-" Finn began but Rachel quickly interrupted him.

"No Finn, I get it. Your reputation is important to you. You don't want to be associated in such a way with the school freak. That's just fine. One day, I will move on to bigger and better things. That includes you." Rachel said and hurried out of the choir room before the tears began to fall. She refused to let anyone see the damage they've done, the cracks in her wall.

It seemed to be never ending. Someone was always bullying her or giving her a slushie facial and she was beginning to become sick of it. She thought she was a perfectly acceptable human being but as her life progressed she began to rethink that thought.

Every day was filled with doubts and endless questions. _What's wrong with me? Why don't they like me? Why am I such a freak? Is it something I'm saying? Why do I have to act this way?_ The list was never ending and at night she would cry herself to sleep as her brain bombarded her with question after question but the one question that constantly haunted her and never seemed to be very far away was _why am I never good enough?_

It was sad really. She hadn't even liked Finn. She'd known that she had at least an admiration for other girls. She'd catch herself admiring in the hallways or as she shopped. It wasn't something she could stop, it just happened, but she knew the moment Finn kissed her that she was straddling the rainbow while cuddling with her new pet unicorn.

She especially noticed it in the way she looked at Quinn. It was more than just a passing glance or an appreciation of how pretty she looked from a friend's point of view, not that they were friends anyway.

It was more than that. It was a longing deep inside of her that seemed to pull towards the blonde cheerleader in an unrelenting force. However, she knew she would never have a chance so she stayed away from the beautiful girl that captivated every moment of her time that wasn't spent in self-deprecation, school work, glee, and other music things.

It was when everyone found out that Quinn was pregnant and the story would be going school wide that Rachel knew her chance was over. She'd never have a shot at a normal Quinn Fabray let alone a pregnant one. She decided she would offer her friendship though. It was a very Rachel Berry thing to do and if she couldn't have her in a romantic sense then she would at the very least become her friend.

It surprised her when Quinn said yes and they began to build a tentative friendship. It was nice though. Quinn didn't seem to have much trouble dropping the nicknames or the sarcasm and Rachel hadn't taken long to adjust to being friends with Quinn Fabray.

It hurt Rachel to think about Quinn's baby. She had nothing against the child but it was the child's father that she envied. He had everything, a loving mother, a beautiful girlfriend, a baby on the way, popularity, and friends. He just had it all and Rachel sometimes liked to imagine it was her in Finn's place despite the pain building in her chest and the tears tumbling onto the smooth skin of her cheeks.

That pain was nothing compared to the pain she felt during glee club. She'd been suggesting various songs that would sound good for each member of glee to sing for regionals when Mercedes suddenly interrupted. "Shut up! Just shut it Rachel! I am sick of hearing about what songs you and Finn would sound good together on or what solo you think you should sing. You're so fucking annoying that no one gives a damn about your talent!"

Rachel snapped her mouth closed as she attempted to think of a response. She looked over to see if Quinn would possibly stand up for her but she was completely engrossed in whatever book she was reading and Finn was awkwardly looking away. They were her only two allies and they obviously wanted nothing to do with it. "But I was trying to he-"

Once again, Mercedes interrupted. "Shut up! No one wants to hear it alright? Fuck, can you not take a hint? Does it need to smack you in the face because I thought I made it pretty clear?"

Rachel sighed and sat back in her chair. There was no use arguing with Mercedes and gaining even more insults from the irate girl. Honestly, Rachel was only trying to help. She'd come up with a list of ten songs for each glee member that would beautifully accent their talents but that had apparently been overlooked.

Rachel was beginning to become sick of it. She was constantly ridiculed and excluded from what was supposed to be a family and she couldn't understand why unless there really was something wrong with her.

The next day in glee club was technically the last straw for her. She'd already made up her mind that she would do it but she hadn't decided when. It just so happened that glee club made her entirely depressed.

She'd been trying to give Mr. Schue her lists when he suddenly slammed his hands down on the piano. "Rachel! Frankly, I believe Mercedes is right. Maybe you should start thinking about things for everyone else instead of yourself for once? Everyone here is getting kind of tired of it. You're selfish, bossy, and kind of a brat." Mr. Schue sighed as he attempted to compose himself. "Just sit down please."

On the way to her seat she'd let the papers in her hand slip into the garbage can. She'd have no need for them and she doubted the members of glee would even want them even if she wasn't there to say anything about it.

That day when she'd gotten home she went straight to her bathroom and pulled out a razor blade. It was something she'd never thought she'd use but her mind had ventured in this direction once before and she had procured it for a just in case that actually paid off.

She never thought she'd be a statistic but things never worked out the way she wanted them to. She'd figured that out at an early age. One thing was for sure though; she would be saying goodbye to her best friend and crush. So, pulling out her phone she shot out a quick message and set to work on relieving every one of her and hopefully ending the pain and misery she felt every waking moment.

A couple minutes later across town Quinn's phone dinged with a new message. Automatically picking it up, figuring it'd be a text from Mercedes about Rachel's wacked out head, Quinn flipped her phone open to see the message Rachel had sent her. Quinn's brow furrowed as she ready it. What could it possibly mean?

_**I will always love you. Goodbye Quinn.**_

Well, she would damn sure be finding out.


	2. I Have Always Loved You

_**Hey, I decided to write a little more for you guys though I'm not sure this is what you were expecting. I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as you have seemed to like the first one. Enjoy and let me know what you think!**_

There wasn't just one moment that made her fall. It wasn't some enlightening fantastical act of goodness that made her realize just how deep she'd fallen. It was more of a series of adorable moments and the little things that made her heart beat faster every time she saw that person. When she looked back and thought about the moment she fell for Rachel Berry it made her laugh.

Rachel had been standing at the club sign up board for a full five minutes and Quinn had taken to staring at her as she waited for class to start. Finally, Rachel pulled out a pen and a sheet of gold stars and proceeded to write her name on every single list except for the cheerios. It sort of made her sad even if she didn't know why.

Quinn tilted her head to the side as she watched her place her last gold star on the glee club sign-up sheet. Glee club? Quinn was sure that club ended because Mr. Ryerson was fired for fondling a student but who knows in a town like Lima.

Quinn almost pushed off her locker to sign up too, even if it would ruin her popularity, but Finn appeared in front of her before she could. She'd just have to find a different way to get close to her.

It wasn't the fact that Rachel had signed up for every single club or even that she placed a gold star next to her name that made her fall for Rachel. It was the contrast between the adorable girl she'd been staring at and the giant troll of a boyfriend that blocked her view.

She eventually did find a way to get closer to the adorable little midget. Well, maybe not closer but she could definitely stare at her. It was because of that damn pep rally where the glee club performed push it and Rachel decided to grind all over that oaf.

Quinn had been insanely turned on by the performance but that went away all too quickly when she realized Finn would be her 'dance' partner. It never occurred to her that she should be insanely pissed off because her boyfriend was practically cheating on her in front of the entire school but it never did. She was more upset that Finn got to be that close to Rachel before she even had a chance to talk to her properly.

So, she decided to join glee club, under the guise of her fear of Finn leaving her for a loser like Rachel, of course. She was thankful for the chance to openly stare at the tiny girl, considering she sang most of the songs in the club, but she hadn't gotten a chance to actually interact with her. Whether that was fear or the torturous inevitability of life she did not know.

Quinn really wanted to know the girl she couldn't stop thinking about but she put that on the back burner when she found out the worst news possible. She was pregnant, and not by her boyfriend. She was devastated and really wished she had taken the time to befriend Rachel so she'd have someone to lean on. Sure, she had Santana but she didn't really want to pull her away from her denial sex.

It wasn't until Finn told her parents about her pregnancy that Quinn really realized she was with the wrong person. She couldn't imagine Rachel doing such a thing unless she talked about it with her.

She'd stay with him though, she had to. At least until she was able to work something out. Without Finn thinking he was the father she had nowhere else to go. She absentmindedly wondered if Rachel would take her in without really even being friends. She seemed like that type. The type that nursed baby birds back to health and rescued stray cats.

She continued to stare at Rachel from across the room until one terrible day Sue Sylvester decided to be an even bigger bitch and that was saying something. Quinn had run from the room and headed straight for the football field bleachers. It was her safe place, the place where she could sit and think and just be alone.

Well, it would've been if a certain little diva hadn't followed her. "Hello Quinn."

Quinn sniffled and wiped away her tears. "Hi."

Rachel sat down next to the teary eyed girl and offered her a tissue. "Occasionally I believe that Sue Sylvester is more devil than she is human."

Quinn's lips quirked up in a small smile and she chuckled. "She's obviously the devil itself. What are you doing here?"

"Well," Rachel began nervously, "I wanted to proposition my friendship to you. I know we have not spoken much but I assume you will be needed someone to lean on during this difficult time of your life."

On the outside Quinn was merely smiling but on the inside she was doing her happy dance. She'd finally get to know the girl who plagued her every waking moment. "I'd like that."

The next few weeks after that were amazing. Their friendship was really building but Quinn was falling deeper and deeper into Rachel's extremely alluring hole in the ground. She often wondered if that was how Alice felt. Just when you thought you couldn't possibly fall any further, down you went.

It was insane how fast and how far she'd fallen for Rachel but she couldn't help it. It'd even progressed to a protective stage. Quinn hadn't been able to make it to Glee club that afternoon due to a doctor's appointment but she heard all about it anyway.

An angry Mercedes had called her the moment glee club ended and proceeded to be a complete bitch about Rachel. Quinn wouldn't stand for it. "Listen Cedes, you know I love you but Rach is my friend. Did you actually listen to what she had to say? There could have been more to it than you think. There usually is you know."

Mercedes scoffed. "Whatever Quinn. Just because you're friends now doesn't mean you can ditch your old friends."

Quinn sighed. "Actually Mercedes, it means that I stick up for her. You're my friend and I would stand up for you so don't expect anything less just because it's Rachel."

Quinn had simply hung up. She wouldn't let Rachel be bad mouthed and she did not care for listening to Mercedes' bitching and gossiping.

Quinn hadn't expected Mr. Schue's blow up at Rachel the next day. It was out of nowhere and what from she could tell Rachel was just trying to be helpful. It broke Quinn's heart to see the disappointed and crestfallen look on Rachel's face as she lifelessly let the papers in her hand drop into the trashcan. It was obvious that Rachel had spent a lot of time working on those lists but no one seemed to care and Quinn hated that. She so desperately wanted to just pull her into her arms, tell her it'd all be okay, and kiss her but there was no way she could do that. She was pregnant; no one would want her but Finn or Puck.

After Glee Quinn had picked up the papers Rachel put in the trashcan but had decided to wait until she got home to see just what Rachel had done but before she could even look at the papers she her phone dinged with a text.

She'd figured it was Mercedes bitching about Rachel but decided to look at it anyway. Her brow furrowed as she read the message from Rachel. What the hell could it possibly mean? Quinn wasn't just going to sit around and do nothing though. She was definitely going be paying Rachel a visit but just in case it meant what she thought it did she hurriedly sent a text message back to the girl she'd fallen in love with.

_**I have always loved you**_


	3. Don't Go

_**Hey! I'm back with more! I really hope you guys like this. I need to say right now that when I do continue this it is a possibility that I will cross this over with another show and it might go a little crazy. I'm not 100% crossing it over so it might not go crazy but if it does don't say I didn't warn you! :D Also, if you've got time go check out some of my other stories! Enjoy and leave me a review!**_

Quinn tried knocking. She tried yelling. She even briefly considered breaking the door down. Well, until she tried the doorknob and it gave way under her tight grip. She felt so stupid. The damn thing had been unlocked the entire time.

She tried not to dwell on that as she raced up the stairs and down the long corridor leading to the diva's room. She'd only ever been in the house once but she remembered exactly where the room was. Even if she hadn't the gold star painted on the door would have told her everything she needed to know.

She very briefly considered knocking but immediately threw that out of the window. She had no time to waste. She knew that, in some ways, she was already too late. There was no way to reverse all the pain and heartache that had been thrust upon the innocent girl. She couldn't fire up the DeLorean and change history. She wished she could.

She wanted nothing more than to jump back in time and make herself a nicer person or at the very least secretly encourage Rachel somehow, but it just was not possible. All she had was the present. She knew apologies could never make up for everything she'd done. Hell, she knew nothing would ever make up for it but she had to try. She had to protect the girl who'd so easily stolen her heart.

She had to show her that she was loved and that she would always have someone, but most importantly her existence was wanted and then she would apologize. She'd seen the sadness and pain in Rachel's eyes. She'd looked into the fragile girl's soul and hadn't said anything. She'd just shrugged it off thinking she could make it disappear. She hoped and prayed that by being her friend she could make those beautiful brown eyes shine again.

She had clearly been wrong because the sight in front of her broke her heart. There she was, the beautiful and bubbly girl she'd falling in love with, sobbing as one hand clutched a razor blade and the other held her cell phone.

Quinn slowly proceeded forward and knelt down next to the broken girl and gently extracted the blade from her hand. "Rach, I am so sorry. Apologies can never make up for what I

've done to you but dammit I need you here. It's selfish but I don't care because I love you. I love you so much and I'm so sorry for being a coward. I'm not afraid anymore because I know that if you were to kill yourself, to leave me that I would die inside every day. Please, let me love you."

Quinn braced herself for the rejection. She knew it would be coming but she was ready. She still wouldn't be going anywhere. She would show Rachel just how much she is worth. It wasn't quite what she expected though because she soon found herself wrapping her arms around the sobbing girl in a tight embrace. "Talk to me, please."

As Rachel's sobs began to subside Quinn gently wiped away the small girl's remaining tears and waited for her to speak. "W-what are you doing h-here?"

Quinn chuckled lightly. "I got your text. I didn't like the way it sounded so I came to check on you."

"Oh." was Rachel's only response.

"Did you get my reply?" Quinn asked softly. She was almost afraid. Sure, she'd just confessed her love to the girl but she wasn't even sure she'd heard that part. Rachel nodded and Quinn sighed. Clearly that was the only response she was going to get. "I'm sorry for not telling you sooner, when we had a better chance at being together. I was just afraid and I knew you were destined for so much more than being with me. It's no excuse and I'm not trying to use it as one but I really didn't mean for it to go this far."

"I hate to be the one to tell you this Quinn but I'm not destined for anything more than what I already am, a joke. You and everyone else at McKinley have only realized what I have attempted to keep hidden. Even my dads realized how much of a loser I am." Quinn was immensely saddened by the words she heard from the small girl in her arms. She hated that she'd been helpful in orchestrating such an attitude. She hated that she made the girl she loved hate herself so much when in truth she should hate the blonde herself.

"Rach, listen to me, you are not a loser or a joke. You are the most talented, beautiful, respectful, caring, and prepared person I know. Even though you have enough talent for Mercedes and Kurt combined to never see the light of day you still let them have solos. Sometimes you might get a little frustrated with Mr. Schue but you still respect him enough to let him make the decisions for the club even though everyone knows it's the wrong thing to do. You make lists upon lists of songs that would showcase everyone's voice and themselves individually. As far as I am concerned everyone else is an idiot because they can't see these things." Quinn sighed and tucked a strand of hair behind Rachel's ear. "I know things can't happen right away but I want this. I want you and I want to be here for you. We've been getting closer as friends and I just want to keep progressing as that and hopefully evolve into more."

Quinn waited. It was torture there with the small girl in her arms having just laid her heart out for all to see and having to wait to know. She was positive it'd only been under a minute of waiting but she was also positive it was an eternity. When Rachel lifted her head and met her eyes Quinn sucked in a sharp intake of breath. There, in those beautiful brown pools of chocolate, was that same spark she'd seen a million times when Rachel would pour her heart out in a solo. She felt something. "I-I'd like that."


End file.
